I didn't want to go back to my home... well should I even call it a home?.. let's just say apartment or a bedroom that I have in a shared house where few other humans stay..
It was around 10 pm on Saturday. I had spent my day with friends watching movie, having evening tea and dinner together. I was only partially existing with them since evening; my mind had already wandered.. L and S are two friends left in Albany after most of my friends have moved out, for one reason or other over past one year now.
I dropped S at her place and told her that I am not feeling like going home and will hang out at my usual coffee house for sometime before calling it off for the day. I was hoping that Hudson River cafe, my recent 'spend evening in peace' place will be playing some band as usual. However, to my dismay it was as deserted as my mind. I grabbed a drink, had a little chat with the owner, sat at my usual table. Time wasn't moving, I decided to move out.
Giving ignition to the car engine, I was expecting it to spark something in my mind; a place to spend some time with strangers. I drove around the empty streets, imagining the busy times when semesters are in progress and college kids hustling and partying around. I decided to stop by The Pub, a place where I used to hang out a bit, with my colleagues on Thursday evening for trivia nights. I sat in the empty bar, with hardly 2-3 people around.Bartender was still trying to maintain his enthusiasm in the anticipation of more people to come, but he knew this is the slow time of the year. I spent some time telling lies to him and people around that I have come to Albany for work, and I stay in New York city. I faked them a job that I currently "do" which is something I actually dream of doing.
After killing some more time, I decided to finally leave, telling myself that this is just a phase and it shall pass too. Never before, I had felt so much betrayed, useless, and directionless at the same time.
But this shall pass too...
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